Elephant Jokes Category

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?Because the white ones always get dirty. Read more

How do you kill a blue elephant?Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.How do you kill a red elephant?Strangle it till it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.How do you kill a green elephant?Tell it a dirty joke until it blushes and turns red, then strangle it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.How do you kill a yellow elephant?What are you talking about? There are no yellow elephants! Read more

Why do elephants walk on four feet?Because if they flew, you could never keep your car clean. Read more

Why do elephants travel in herds?Because if they traveled in flocks, it would confuse the sheepdogs. Read more

How do you get three elephants in a taxi?One in the front next to the driver, and two in the back.How do you know there is an elephant in your house?There`s a taxi outside with two impatient elephants.How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator?There`s a taxi outside it with two impatient elephants.And what if you don`t notice the taxi?There are footprints in the butter.How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.How do you get two elephants in the refrigerator?Open the door, put in the first elephant, then put in the second elephant, then close the door.How do you get six elephants in the refrigerator?Put three elephants in a taxi, put three elephants in another taxi, then put the two taxis in the fridge.Why are there so many elephants running loose in Africa?Not enough refrigerators. Read more

Why do ducks have flat feet?For stamping out forest fires.Why do elephants have flat feet?For stamping out flaming ducks.Why do giraffes have long necks?For spitting on burning elephants. Read more

How to catch a white elephant: Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with raisins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bringing with you a muffin (without raisins). Drop the muffin (without raisins) as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin (without raisins) lacks rasins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way you catch an ordinary grey elephant. Read more

Why do elephants float in the river upside-down?To keep their blue tennis shoes from getting wet. Read more

How are an elephant and a banana just alike?They are both yellow . . . . uh . . . . Except for the elephant, of course.What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?Look! A herd of elephants coming over the hill!What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?Nothing. He didn`t recognize them.What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?Look! A bunch of bananas coming over the hill! (Jane was color-blind.) Read more

A jeweller called the police station to report a robbery."You`ll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewelry and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed and the truck pulled away."The desk sergeant said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?""What`s the difference?" asked the jeweller."Well," said the sergeant, an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears.""Come to think of it, I couldn`t see his ears," said the jeweller. "He had a stocking over his head." Read more