Family Jokes Category

Dear Dad,
School is really great. I am making lots of friends and studying very hard. With all my stuff, I simply can`t think of anything I need. so if you would like, you can just send me a card, as I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your son
<... Read more

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."

When the priest returned three years later, he we... Read more

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?

Brother 2: He's Dead

Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days.

You could of broke me to the news easier. You could of told me today that she got out of the house or something.

Then when I call... Read more

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a

"Living Will

Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, de... Read more

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?"

They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, do... Read more

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their P.J.'s, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all about the front yard. The door to his wife`s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and a throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was blaring a cartoo... Read more

During a dinner party, the hosts` two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.

The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going.
The guests co... Read more

Chris had just turned 16 had long hair, and look like Joe Dirt.
He went to his dad and asked: "Dad it is my 16th birthday! I would like you to by me a car for my birthday.

So his dad replied, "Son, I will buy you any car that you want as long as you raise your grades AND cut your hair."

Chris said ok. The next week, Chris brought home a report c... Read more

A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked:

"Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?"

The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. I... Read more

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"... Read more