Fishing Jokes Category

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!""Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain`t been any for years!"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer to shore he shouted to the guy again "What did you do to get rid of the gators?""We didn`t do nothin`," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got `em all." Read more

Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?

A. They don`t really have to catch anything to be happy. Read more

It`s the late 1980`s, and this technician`s boss at a nonprofit agency has a brainstorm."He wanted to provide a menu-driven telephone system that would let local boaters and fishermen call in for information on river levels," says the tech.His further comments: "I was invited to a lunch with the local phone company to discuss it. Being new to the project, I started by asking what percentage of the targeted rural population had touch-tone phone service ... a must-have for menu-driven phone systems. As I remember, the chicken salad was delicious and the project was never discussed again." Read more

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?""Naw, ma fren, I ain`t got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish.""Pet fish?"Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim `round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home.""That`s a bunch of hooey! Fish can`t do that!"The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It`s de truth ma` fren. I`ll show you. It really works.""Okay, I`ve GOT to see this!"The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?""Well, what?" said the Cajun"When are you going to call them back?""Call who back?""The FISH!""What fish?"Folks in Louisiana may not be as smart as some, but they aren`t as dumb as most. Read more

Wife after returning from fishing trip with husband to neighbor: "I did everything all wrong again today -- I talked too much and too loud. I used the wrong bait. I reeled in too soon and I caught more than he did." Read more

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz Read more

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We`ll have to come back here tomorrow!"The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We`ll just look for this Xtomorrow."The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we`ll get the same boat?" Read more