Food Jokes Category

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose.He goes to the doctor and asks him what`s wrong.The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you`re not eating right." Read more

It`s called "fast" food because you`re supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it. Read more

At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?"Without looking up from his newspaper John replied, "About 10 years." Read more

A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn`t pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?""I`m very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter."Oh, it`s quite all right." said the guest, "but I`m afraid I`ll have to trouble you again..." Read more

EAST BERNARD, TX (DWPI) -- Local barber Merton Storch revealed today that he can believe that the margarine spread "I Can`t Believe It`s Not Butter!" is not, in fact, butter. "I think it`s obvious," said Storch."Butter is a creamy spread, while this crap is more like a space-age polymer." A spokesperson from Lilton Foods, responded by saying, "Well, I know *I* can`t believe it`s not butter." This is not the first time Storch has made a public food-related statement. In 1994, he held a press conference to announce he thought everything wasn`t, in fact, "better with Blue Bonnet on it," and even demonstrated using food items such as ice cream, Jell-O, and what appeared to be a large squid.Reported by Rob WinchellThe Daily Weekly Read more

Moshe was eating in a Chinese restaurant and was chatting to his Chinese waiter.Moshe commented upon what a wise people the Chinese were."Yes," replied the waiter, "we`re wise because our culture is 4,000 years old. But Jewish people are also very wise, are they not?"Moshe replied, "Yes, we are. Our culture is 5,000 years old."The waiter was surprised to hear this. "That can`t be true," he replied, "where did your people eat for a thousand years?" Read more