Funny Quizzes Category

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it`s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don`t use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.Below is a very private way to gage your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear yourmind and . . . begin.1. What do you put in a toaster?The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself withreading something more appropriate such as "Children`s World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass", then go on toquestion four.4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politicallydivided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man`s land" between EastGermany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man`s land"?Answer: You don`t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. Ifyou said, "Don`t bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in andexit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!! Read more

The World`s Easiest Quiz?(Answers at the bottom. NO CHEATING!)1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?2) Which country makes Panama hats?3) From which animal do we get catgut?4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?5) What is a camel`s hair brush made of?6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?7) What was King George VI`s first name?8) What color is a purple finch?9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?(Scroll Down)Answers To The Quiz1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.2) Ecuador.3) From sheep and horses.4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.5) Squirrel fur.6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.8) Distinctively crimson.9) New Zealand.10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. Read more

Time to do the inner-blonde test! Pay close attention! There are 10 questions, so you should be able to answer them all in 5 minutes. DO NOT look at the answers found at the end of this document, that would be cheating! Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference!--------------------------------------------1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills taken?3. I went to bed at eight o`clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o`clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being woken by the alarm?4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What colour is the bear?8. Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?9. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?10. If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what`s the name of the driver?--------------------------------------------ANSWERS :1. All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.2. 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o`clock, then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o`clock, they will be taken in 1 hour.3. 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between a.m. and p.m.4. 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.5. 9 live sheep.6. The match.7. White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.8. 2 apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?9. None. It was Noah, not Moses.10. YOU are the driver.Grading Scale (out of 10)10 Genius9 Mensa Member8 Engineer7 Student6 High school pupil5 Primary school pupil4 Teacher3 College lecturer2 University lecturer1 Member of Congress0 Blonde Read more

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Wrong Answer!Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How doyou manage it?Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old. Read more

A couple of tough questionsQuestion 1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.Question 2:It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.Candidate A -Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He`s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.Candidate B -He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.Candidate C -He is a decorated war hero. He`s a vegetarian, doesn`t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.Candidate B is Winston Churchill.Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.Pretty interesting isn`t it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Read more

Ever wonder which cartoon character you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of cartoon characters. The gathered information has been incorporated into this quiz.Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, then add up the points that correspond with your answers.>1. Which describes your perfect date?a) Candlelight dinner for twob) Amusement Parkc) Rollerblading in the parkd) Rock Concerte) See a movie>2. What is your favorite type of music?a) Rock and Rollb) Alternativec) Soft Rockd) Classicale) Christian>3. What is your favorite type of movie?a) Comedyb) Horrorc) Musicald) Romancee) Documentary>4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only>these choices?a) Waiter/Waitressb) Sports Playerc) Teacherd) Policemane) Bartender>5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?a) Work outb) Readc) Watch TVd) Listen to the radioe) Sleep>6. Of the following colors, which do you like the best?a) Yellowb) Whitec) Sky blued) Teale) Red>7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?a) Ice creamb) Pizzac) Sushid) Pastae) Salad>8. Which is your favorite holiday?a) Halloweenb) Christmasc) New Year`sd) Valentine`s Daye) Thanksgiving>9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?a) Parisb) Spainc) Las Vegasd) Hawaiie) Hollywood>10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?a) Someone who is smartb) Someone with good looksc) Someone who is a party animald) Someone who has fun all the timee) Someone who is very emotional>Now total up your points on each question and find your characterbelow:1. a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-32. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-33. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-54. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-15. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-36. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-47. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-58. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-59. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-310. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4NOW, Find out which ! Looney Tune you are:(10-17 points) You are TAZ: You are wild and crazy and you know it! You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People don`t always see things your way, but that doesn`t mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.(18-26 points) You are Bugs Bunny: You are fun, friendly, and popular. You are a real crowd pleaser. Have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you.Marriage and children are important to you, but only after you have fun. Don`t let the people you please influence you to stray.(27-34 points) You are Tweety: You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze.You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers and you are worry-free.(35-42 points) You are Pepe Le Pew: (without the smell) You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments. A family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don`t let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.(43-50 points) You are Speedy Gonzales: You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don`t overlook a bad situation when it does happen. Read more

City of Los AngelesHigh School Math Proficiency ExamName:____________________Gang:________________________1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn`t cut it?3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW`s and 3 4x4`s, how many Chevy`s will he have to steal to make $800?6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing her since she spent his money?7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?8. Hector knocked up six girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? Read more

Are You a Nerd?INTRODUCTION:Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it`s just us. In any event, we here at the nerdity testing lab were prompted to ask "just what is a nerd?" In response, we came up with this test. By taking it, you will determine your current nerdity quotient (from 0% to 100%), with 100% roughly corresponding to a pile of sludge unable to communicate with anything human except through a device that is a miracle of modern medicine and engineering, and whose only connection to the outside world is through the computer internet system.GRADING:As this test is being distributed primarily in places of high concentrations of known nerds, and nerds in turn tend to have nerd friends, that someone who has never heard of or seen the nerdity test is assumed to be 0% nerd. However, once such knowledge comes to them, they are immediately placed in the 100% nerdity category. This is done because it is also assumed that only a true geek would utter something to the effect of: "Nerdity test?!? What a stupid concept! I`m too cool to take something as dumb as that." The values in between are determined by taking the test and scoring it as follows.For each question below for which you can answer "yes" or "true", take one point. At the end of the test, divide the total number of points you scored by the total number of questions in the test. Treat this number as a percentage that represents your nerdity quotient.Some of the questions will have parentheticals at the end of them. What is contained within the parentheticals is a short list of examples relating to the given question. The list is not to be taken as all inclusive but merely as suggestions that might apply.All technicalities count - after all, being technical is half of what being a nerd is all about.RECOMMENDATIONS and HINTS:It is felt that for maximum enjoyment, you should respond out loud with your answers. You should treat each "yes" that you say as a personal catharsis of what you are doing wrong (or right depending on your opinion of nerdity) and each "no" may then be disputed by your peers. In this way, errors due to lying or personal oversight are avoided and the test also has a therapeutic effect for the closet nerd. As an aside, information gleaned about others should be treated confidentially. Each of us has a dork-side that we don`t want others to know about.Experiment shows that nerdity CAN be cured! With effort and personal sacrifice... The nerdity quotient is a cross between proclivity toward as well as actual current status in nerddom. Some questions are "have you ever..." while others are "do you now...". The former register the fact that you have a propensity toward nerdity, while the later acknowledge the fact that you are currently geeking. Obviously, as your answers toward the "do you now" type questions change, so will your nerd quotient.Please use only a number two pencil. Mark all answers in your blue book. Shake well before using. Lather. Rinse. Repeat as desired. Show all work. Refrigerate after opening. No partial credit will be given. A table of useful formulas is included at the end. You may begin.... NOW!SECTION 1: Education and Schooling1. Have you ever taken a "higher" math course? (Trig, Calculus)2. ...at the college level?3. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?4. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #1?5. Have you ever taken a science course? (Biology, Physics, Chemistry)6. ...at the college level?7. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?8. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #5?9. Have you ever majored in the "hard sciences"? (engineering, physics chemistry, etc. but excluding psychology, economics, etc.)10. Have you ever taken Latin?11. Have you ever asked a question in lecture?12. Have you ever answered a question asked in lecture?13. Have you ever corrected a professor in lecture?14. Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?15. Have you ever given a lecture?16. Do you sit in the front row more than 20% of the time?17. Have you ever had a "perfect attendance record"?18. Have you ever verified an equation in a science text on your own? (i.e. experimental proof)19. Have you ever derived an equation you found in a science text?20. ...when you didn`t have to?21. ...using other principles? (starting from a different equation than the text did)22. Do you take notes in more than one color?23. Do you use other props when taking notes? (ruler, compass, protractor)24. Have you ever tutored someone else?25. Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?26. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?27. Have you taken any classes pass/fail just to preserve your GPA?28. Have you ever known more about the subject material than the lecturer?29. ...but continued in the class because you "needed the grade?"30. ...and had the lecturer admit this fact to you?31. Have you ever had an argument with a professor?32. Did you win?33. Has a lecturer ever referred someone to you as being more knowledgeable?34. Did you apply to any college merely for the sake of "seeing if I would get in"?35. Was your SAT math more than 300 above your verbal?36. Did you score higher than 1200 combined on the SAT?SECTION 2: Knowledge37. Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 10)38. Can you count in hexadecimal? (up to decimal 20)39. Can you count in Roman numerals?40. Do you know Maxwell`s equations? (integral or differential form)41. Do you know Schroedinger`s Equation?42. Have you ever solved Schroedinger`s Equation?43. ...for fun?44. Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector?45. Do you know the difference between a vector and a tensor?46. Do you know the right-hand-rule for cross-products?47. Do you know the Latin name (genus and species) for anything? (fruit fly, human being)48. Can you understand the owner`s manual for electronic equipment?49. Can you understand the electronic schematic for electronic equipment?50. Do you know what a "reverse polish notation" calculator is?51. Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order?52. Can you translate more than half the chemical symbols into the name of the element they represent?53. Do you know the wavelengths in the visible spectrum?54. Are you bilingual?55. ...and not an immigrant or child of an immigrant?56. Can you briefly outline the biological process that occur due to alcohol when it is consumed by a human?57. ...while drunk?58. Do you know how your car`s engine works?59. Have you ever interpolated?60. Have you ever extrapolated?61. Do you know the difference between interpolation and extrapolation?62. Have you ever integrated numerically?63. ...and known the result ahead of time?64. ...and complained about how slow the computer was?65. Have you ever seen or utilized the spherical harmonic functions?66. ...and found them aesthetically pleasing?67. Do you know most of the words to "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python?68. Do you own an encyclopedia?69. Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren`t researching?70. Have you ever wanted to know something for no apparent reason?71. Have you ever been laughed at for wanting to know something?72. Can you program the time on a VCR?73. Has anyone ever asked you to program their VCR time for them?74. Have you ever used the word "asymptotic"?75. Have you ever referred to something as an L.E.D.?76. Have you ever referred to a ruler as a "straight-edge"?77. Have you ever said "quartz crystal"?78. Have you ever called something a "print out" or "hard copy"?79. Have you ever referred to a curve/object as hyperbolic, parabolic, etc.?80. Do you feel your vocabulary is larger than most people`s?81. Is your IQ greater than your weight?Answer YES if you know what the following acronyms stand for. Note: it may be useful to actually state out loud what you think the acronym stands for as your interpretation may be wrong or not the nerdy one being sought after.82. ...RADAR?83. ...MODEM?84. ...RAM?85. ...DNA?86. ...ATP?87. ...NADP?88. ...CRT?89. ...CRC?90. ...STP?91. ...NORAD?92. ...NASA?93. ...MUD?94. ...LED?95. ...AI?96. ...LASER?97. ...RPG?98. ...TLA?99. ...SCUBA?100. ...WYSIWYG?101. ...DAT?102. ...PINE?103. ...JOVE?104. Did you not know one of the above, but took a wild guess at in anyway?105. Have you ever created an acronym in order to simplify your writing?The next few questions deal with physical constants. Mark yes for any that you can give the value (2 or more significant digits) for. Knowledge of the units attached is NOT necessary, just the numeric portion.106. gravitational constant? (G)107. earth`s gravity near the surface? (g)108. mass of an electron?109. charge of an electron?110. speed of light in vacuum?111. speed of sound at STP?112. Planck`s constant? (h or h-bar)113. permittivity of free space? (epsilon naught)114. permeability of free space? (mu naught)115. Avogadro`s number?116. molar gas constant?117. pi? (exception: must know more than 3 digits)118. Mark this true if you are presently the person knowing the most digits of pi in the room.119. e? (exception: must know more than 3 digits)Can you give the conversion factor between... (2 or more sig. digits)120. ...centimeters and inches?121. ...kilometers and miles?122. ...joules and electron-volts?123. ...atomic mass units and kilograms?124. ...Celsius and Kelvin?125. ...Celsius and Fahrenheit?126. ...meters and Astronomical Units (AU)?127. ...AU and light years?128. ...light years and parsecs?129. If, while answering any question in this section, you said someone else`s answer was wrong and were right, mark this question true. (e.g. "you nob! Pi isn`t 3.1425. It`s 3.1415!")130. If while answering any question in this section, you checked a reference book to find out the correct answer, mark this question true. (e.g. "AARRGGH! What`s that last R in radar stand for?")SECTION 3: Computers131. Have you ever used a computer?132. ...for more than 4 hours continuously?133. ...for more than 8 hours continuously?134. ...past 4 a.m.?135. ...as a source of income?136. ...on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend?137. ...with someone you were physically attracted toward?138. ...for money?139. ...in the last 24 hours?140. ...in the last half hour?141. ...as a source of entertainment? (computer game)142. ...in the last three months?143. ...in the last three weeks?144. Have you ever programmed a computer?145. ...to write a computer game?146. ...to write a computer virus?147. ...to write a shell script?148. Do you still own any computer with less than 512k of RAM? (e.g. Commodore 64, Apple II +/e/c, TRS 80, ad infinitum)149. ...that is still in working condition?150. ...and still buy software for it?151. Do you own more than one computer with at least a megabyte of RAM?152. Do you own any computer which would be classified as a work station?153. Have you ever taken your computer on vacation with you?154. Have you ever lost sleep over a computer game?Have you ever used a ...155. mouse?156. hard disk drive?157. light-pen?158. computer with a touch sensitive monitor?159. track-ball?160. ...for something other than a video game?161. Devorak keyboard? (as opposed to QWERTY)162. modem?163. Have you ever seen a magnetic tape reel?164. Have you ever mounted a magnetic tape reel?165. Have you ever seen a computer punch card?166. Have you ever programmed using punch cards?167. Are you still capable of programming with punch cards?168. Do you have any "pirated" software? (i.e. second-hand copywritten)169. Do you have any "public-domain" software?170. Do you have any "shareware"? (i.e. software author requests a fee be sent to them for its use)171. Do you currently own a modem capable of 14.4kbs or faster?172. Do you still own any modem whose top speed is 300 baud or less?173. Have you ever telnet`ed from one computer system to another?174. ...to gain access to a system you had no authorization on?175. ...to call a government computer? (NASA, FBI, NORAD, etc.)176. ...to call a research institution? (CERN, JPL, etc.)177. ...where the other machine was outside of your native country?178. Do you have an electronic mail address?179. ...more than one e-mail address?180. Have you ever sent e-mail?181. ...to yourself?182. ...to someone who was in the same room as you at the time?183. ...with a .sig file appended to the end of it?184. ...in the last week?185. Have you ever set up and run a mailing list for e-mail?186. Do you receive more e-mail than you send?187. Have you ever FTP`d?188. ...anonymously?189. Have you ever uploaded?190. Have you ever downloaded?191. Have you ever multi-tasked? (ran 2+ applications concurrently)192. Have you ever set up a kill file?193. ...that does more than simply `kill`?194. Do you have a .plan or similar file for when people finger you?195. Have you set up a login.com or similar file for auto-execution on logging unto a computer system? (autoexec.bat, login.com...)196. Do you use alias/batch commands to standardize your OS? (e.g. alias dir ls)197. Have you ever read the postings on USENET?198. ...in the last week?199. Have you posted to USENET?200. ...and gotten a response?201. ...from someone you knew outside of the net?202. ...and gotten a "flame"?Have you ever posted to...203. ...a science fiction news group? (rec.arts.sf)204. ...a sex news group? (alt.sex)205. ...talk.bizarre?206. ...rec.humor?207. ...a sci. or science-related news group?208. Have you ever written a FAQ for a USENET news group?209. Have you ever run a vote for a USENET news group?210. Have you ever moderated a USENET news group?211. Have you played any MUD`s, MUSH`s or other multi-user games?212. ...in the last week?213. ...today?214. Do you consistently play more than one MUD, MUSH, etc.?215. Are you a "wizard/implementor/immortal" on any MUD`s, MUSH`s, etc.?216. Do you have GIF files as wallpaper?217. Is part of your desk space devoted to your computer?218. Have you ever built a computer?219. ...from chips?220. Do you have a favorite computer language?221. ...that you`ve had to defend in verbal debate?Which of the following computer languages do you know...222. ...BASIC?223. ...PASCAL?224. ...FORTRAN?225. ...assembly language?226. ...C?227. Have you ever forgotten a person`s name but not their e-mail address?228. Do you know more computer addresses than street addresses?229. Do you tend to remember the IP numbers instead of the alpha address for computer sites? (128.253.232.63 vs. crux3.cit.cornell.edu)230. Do you find that you type more often than you write longhand?231. Have you ever forgotten how to write longhand?232. Have you ever used computer symbology elsewhere? (goto, *, etc.)233. Have you ever spoken internet-ese? (btw, imho, :), brb, afk)234. Have you ever blown off doing something you were supposed to do in order to work on the computer?235. Have you ever felt jealous of someone merely because they owned a better computer system than you?SECTION 4: Possessions236. Do you frequently find yourself with more plugs than outlets?237. Do you currently own a can of WD-40?238. Do you currently own a can of compressed air?239. Do you have a personal copy of any version of the nerdity test?240. ...in space allocated to you on a computer system?241. Have you ever owned a light saber (Star Wars)?242. ...that wasn`t made of plastic?243. Do you own an 8-track tape player or any 8-track tapes?244. Do you own an almanac? (World, Farmer`s)245. Do you own an atlas?246. Do you own a globe?247. ...and have it on display? (on a desk, bookshelf...)248. ...that has bumps corresponding to mountain ranges?249. ...that lights up?250. Do you own any "maps of the ancient world"?251. ...and have them on display?252. Do you have any "mathematical" artwork? (Escher, fractals)253. Have you ever faxed something?254. Have you ever received a fax?255. Do you own a cellular phone? (car phone)256. Do you own a non-standard calculator? (scientific, programmable)257. Do you own a "reverse polish notation" calculator?258. Do you own a slide rule?259. ...and know how to use it?260. Other than a thermometer, do you own any meteorological equipment?261. Do you own any orienteering equipment? (compass, sextant, etc.)262. Do you own a pencil case?263. Do you own any mechanical pencil?264. ...and have refills for it?265. Do you own an electric pencil sharpener?266. Do you own a laboratory notebook?267. Do you own any graph paper? (quad-ruled)268. Do you own any log or semi-log paper?269. Do you own a table of integrals?270. Have you ever stolen scientific (radiation, biohazard) warnings for personal use?SECTION 5: Leisure Time271. Have you ever taken something apart?272. ...and put it back together correctly?273. ...without worrying about voiding the warranty?274. Do friends and/or family ask you to fix things?275. Do friends and/or family ask to borrow your tools?276. ...because you are the only person they know who OWNS that tool?277. Have you ever put something together without reference to the assembly instructions?278. Have you ever bought something primarily for the pleasure of taking it apart to "see how it works"?279. Have you ever rewired something?280. Have you ever played a non-sexual role-playing game? (D&D)281. ...since leaving high school?282. Have you ever been to a RPG convention? (GenCON, etc.)283. ...in the last six months?284. Have you ever taken a "self help" test?285. Do you derive perverse pleasure from self-help tests?286. Do you ever lord your scores on such tests over people around you?287. Have you ever dissected something?288. ...while not involved in a biology class?289. Do you play chess?290. Were you ever on a chess team?291. ...on a math team?292. ...on a debate team?293. ...on a "trivia" team? (college bowl, JEOPARDY)294. ...the captain for any of the teams listed above?295. ...the coach for any of the teams listed above?296. Did you ever join one of the above teams for the purpose of picking up members of the opposite sex?297. Were you ever in a science fair?298. ...that you placed in the top three?299. Are you a member of Mensa?300. Have you ever made a technical joke?301. ...in the last week?302. ...that no one around you understood?303. ...and you found yourself trying to explain it?304. ...that everyone around you understood?305. ...but their reason for laughing was not yours?SECTION 6: Leisure Time - Nerd Toys306. Have you ever bought something from Radio Shack?307. Do you know what an oscilloscope does?308. Have you ever used an oscilloscope?309. Do you own an oscilloscope?310. Have you ever used a microscope?311. Do you own a microscope?312. Have you ever used a telescope?313. ...not for peering through someone`s bedroom window?314. Do you own a voltmeter?315. Do you own any remote controlled vehicles?316. Do you own a CB radio?317. Have you ever had an amateur radio license?318. Do you still have an amateur radio license?319. Have you ever had an extra-class amateur radio license?320. Have you ever used a chemistry set?321. ...since the age of 13?322. Have you ever used a rare earth element?323. Do you own a slinky?324. Does a slinky make you think about oscillations?325. Do you own a Rubik`s cube?326. Are you able to solve Rubik`s Cube?327. ...without using the book?328. ...in less than two minutes?329. Have you ever tried to calculate the number of possible permutations a Rubik`s Cube can have?SECTION 7: Leisure Time - TV and Movies330. Do you watch more than 4 hours of TV on any given day of the week?331. Can you name more than 5 shows on PBS? (inc.:A&E, Discovery Channel)332. Have you ever watched a PBS documentary?333. ...voluntarily?334. ...in the last three weeks?335. Have you ever watched C-Span for more than 5 minutes?Have you ever watched a complete episode of...336. ...Dr. Who?337. ...Battlestar Galactica?338. ...Space: 1999?339. ...Starblazers? (cartoon about the WWII carrier flying through space)Can you whistle, hum, sing or snap the theme songs to...340. ...Gilligan`s Island?341. ...Flintstones?342. ...The Brady Bunch?343. ...The Jetson`s?344. ...The Addam`s Family?344. ...Dobbie Gillis?346. ...I Dream of Genie?347. Have you ever seen any of the "Revenge of The Nerd" movies more than once?348. Have you seen all of the Star Wars movies?349. ...in one 24 hour period?350. Have you ever watched something and stated "that`s physically impossible" (due to Newton`s laws, etc.)?SECTION 8: Leisure Time - Books and MagazinesHave you ever read anything by...351. ...Douglas Adams?352. ...Isaac Asimov?353. ...Arthur C. Clarke?354. ...Robert H. Heinlein?355. ...Piers Anthony?356. ...J.R.R. Tolkein?357. ...TSR Hobbies? (i.e. a novel published by the D&D people)358. ...Richard Feynman? (e.g. his lectures, etc.)359. ...Stephen Hawkings?360. ...Carl Sagan?361. Have you ever read -Cultural-Literacy- or any other book on "what you, as an intelligent person, should know"?362. Have you ever read -Innumeracy- or any other book about mathematics made popular?363. Do you read books on a daily basis?364. Have you finished a book in the last week?365. Have you finished more than one book in the last week?366. Have you ever bought a book of crossword puzzles/logic problems?367. Do you read archaic computer manuals for pleasure?Do you have magazine subscriptions to...368. ...Popular Mechanics?369. ...Popular Science?370. ...Omni?371. ...Scientific America?372. ...any computer oriented magazine? (MacWorld, PCWorld, etc.)373. ...Computer Gaming World or other "video game" magazine?374. ...Discover?375. ...any medical journals? (New England Journal of Medicine)376. ...any science periodicals?377. ...National Geographic?378. ...any comic book or "graphic novel"? (X-Men, Superman, Heavy Metal)SECTION 9: Star Trek379. Can you name or discuss the plots of more than 10 Star Trek episodes?380. Have you seen all of the Star Trek films?381. ...in one 48 hour period?382. Do you refer to the various "Treks" as "TOS" (The Original Series), "TNG" (The Next Generation) and "DS9" (Deep Space 9) or similar?383. Have you ever argued with someone over which "Trek" is better?384. Have you ever argued over who was a better commander of the Enterprise?385. Have you ever felt the urge to learn the Klingon language?386. Have you ever been to a trek convention?387. ...in the last six months?388. Have you ever owned a pair of Spock ears (Star Trek)?389. ...and worn them in public?SECTION 10: Clothing and Apparel390. Are your socks unmatched?391. Do you own a digital watch?392. ...that plays music?393. ...that`s currently set to chime on the hour?394. ...that has a calculator built in?395. Do you own a pocket protector?396. ...and are you wearing it?397. Do you have acne?398. Do you have greasy hair?399. ...without realizing it?400. Do you own any clothing with scientific knowledge printed on it? (e.g. t-shirts with Maxwell`s equations)401. ...which you still wear from time to time?402. Have you ever worn a radiation film badge?403. ...while not in the laboratory?404. ...and described what it was to someone, who then backed away in fear?405. Are your pants too short?406. Does your underwear have your name in it?407. Is your outfit uncoordinated? (have someone else evaluate this)408. Have you ever worn a button-down shirt and left the tails hanging out?409. Have you ever bought similar looking shirts/pants in order to save time when dressing because "everything goes together"?410. Do you wear glasses?411. ...held together by adhesives? (tape, glue, boogers)412. Is your vision worse than 20/40? (in either eye)413. Is your vision worse than 20/80? (in either eye)414. Do your glasses weigh more than one pound?SECTION 11: Personality and Lifestyle415. Have you ever slept an inverted day? (sleep at dawn, wake at dusk)416. ...for more than one day in a row?417. Have you ever slept round the clock? (24 continuous hours in bed)Which of the following have you used to prevent sleep?418. ...Caffeine?419. ...exercise?420. ...Vivarin?421. ...NoDoz?422. ...something you made in chem. lab?423. ...something you found in chem. lab?424. Have you worked for an engineering or manufacturing firm?425. ...in the last 3 months?426. ...and gotten credit at a school for doing so?427. Have you worked in a research lab?428. ...and been more interested in the work than the pay?429. Have you ever visited a power plant? (Hoover Dam, nuclear plant, etc.)430. ...and not been bored?431. Are you socially inept?432. Was the last naked person you saw a hi-res computer scan?433. Do you talk to yourself?434. ...when other people are around?435. Do you talk to imaginary people?436. ...do they talk back?437. ...do they seem to be more/less intelligent than you?438. Do you have a tough time remembering people`s names?439. ...but no trouble with their numeric data? (phone#, SS#)440. Have you ever played mathematical games with other numbers you see to pass the time? (square/cube root, prime factors of phone#)441. Do you see everyday situations as representing mathematical concepts?442. Do you look at quantitative factors when participating in social events? (ex: choosing drinks by % alcohol rather than taste)443. Mark this true if you did NOT go to your senior prom.444. Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?445. Have you ever found a grammatical error in a published book?446. Have you ever quoted a piece of literature from memory? (poem, quote)447. Have you ever eaten pizza cold?448. ...do you like it that way?449. ...because you`re too lazy to reheat it?450. Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to the lab/office/science building?451. Is any leftover delivery food currently residing in your refrigerator?452. ...that`s been there so long, you can`t remember ordering it?453. ...that`s been there so long, it`s become mobile/sentient?454. Is any food in your refrigerator moldy?455. Have you ever commented on the lack of intellectual ability found in a "JEOPARDY" contestant?456. Have you ever contemplated the meaning of life/existence of God?457. ...while not drunk?458. ...while alone?459. Have you ever thought about extra dimensions/parallel universes?460. ...and discussed their possibilities with others?461. Have you come to any conclusions about UFO`s/life on other planets?462. ...and used Time-Life`s "Mysteries of the Unknown" series as a factual reference to support your claim?463. Have you ever commented: "If I drive fast enough at the red light, it`ll appear green."464. Have you ever found yourself discussing one of the popular scientific theories of the day with someone you just met? (cold fusion)465. ...did they bring it up because they thought you incapable of talking about non-technical topics?466. Have you ever taken part in an experiment to prove/disprove one of the popular scientific theories of the day? (cold fusion, big bang)467. Have you ever thought about reviving the dead? (Frankenstein)468. ...for sexual purposes?469. ...and had some degree of success?470. ...but been laughed at by a leading medical institution?471. Have you ever given an inanimate object a name? (inc.: stuffed animal)472. Was the object something electronic or mechanical?473. Did the object also have a "personality"?474. Have you ever compared and contrasted two scientists? (Einstein vs. Newton, etc.)475. Have you ever argued with someone else over which of two scientists was better?476. Have you ever argued with someone over which of two computer types/OS`s is better? (Macintosh vs. IBM, UNIX vs. VMS)477. Have you ever laughed out loud at a joke written in a serious scientific paper? (Feynman`s lectures, textbook)478. Has anyone ever called you a geek/nerd?479. ...in the last two weeks?480. ...for doing/saying something you knew to be geeky?481. Have you ever intentionally done something that you consider geeky?482. ...in the last month?483. ...today?SECTION 12: The Nerd Test484. Are you taking this test alone?485. Are you currently reading this test on a computer screen?486. Are you planning to double-check your answers to this test?487. Do you feel the need (or are you currently using) a calculator to score the test?488. Are you computing your score in scientific notation?489. Have you contemplated writing a computer program that would ask and/or tabulate questions found on this test?490. Are you currently scoring this test in reverse? (i.e. Assuming 100% nerd and deducting for each `no`?)491. Have you come across copies of this test from two separate sources?492. If you are still reading this test, do you really need a test score to prove you are a nerd?493. Is your nerdity test score higher than your purity test score?494. Did you feel offended by any of the questions on this test?495. Did you resort to lying in order to raise your score?496. Did you resort to lying in order to lower your score?497. Are you currently competing with someone else for the highest score on this test (or were contemplating it)?498. ...did you come up second best and challenge them to a rematch?499. Have you asked for a technical clarification of anything on this test?500. Have you ever thought of a question that belongs on this test?Please put your pencils down. That`s it! Hope you enjoyed it!To analyze your Nerdity Quotient, divide your total number of "yes/true" responses by the total number of questions and compare to this list.Ranking:0 - 20 Nerd-wannabe21 - 30 Nerd-in-Training31 - 35 Closet nerd36 - 40 You dress like people in Walmart ads41 - 45 You refuse to live anywhere without pizza delivery service46 - 50 Your social life needs some serious help51 - 55 YOU need some serious help56 - 60 You are on first name basis with Radio Shack employees61 - 65 Your best friend is a microchip66 - 70 Bill Gates and E. Gary Gygax are your heroes71 - 75 You own more surge protectors than cooking utensils76 - 80 "Revenge of the Nerds" poster-child81 - 85 Hoping to invent Warp Field Theory or transporter technology86 - 90 Desperately seeking cybernetic interface implanted in your brain91 - 99 Move over, Einstein100 Hail, O Nerd Master, virgin sliderulers I sacrifice unto you Read more

Brain Teasers1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it`s highest, how many rungs are under water?4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass,and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?Same question, but the location is in Canada?9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.10. What can go up a chimney down, but can`t go down a chimney up? (hint... chim chimminy)11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?~~~~~~~~~~~~Answers1. The word "incorrectly." {Almost cracked your brain, didn`t you?}2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Duh.4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. {Poor Sloppy.}7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it`s still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don`t even know how much air is in the hole.)8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.10. An umbrella.11. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.12. The temperature. Read more

True or False?1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a bellybutton.3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it`s from being indoors a lot more.5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don`t appear until they are 2-6 years old.9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.11. The average housefly lives for one month.12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.17. The REAL reason an ostrich sticks its head in the sand is to search for water.18. The only 2 animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the Rabbit and the Parrot.19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used instead of real milk.22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.26. If coloring weren`t added to Coca-Cola, it would be Green.ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUEDon`t you just love number 16? Read more