Funny Quizzes Category

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it`s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don`t use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.Below is a very private way to gage your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear yourmind and . . . begin.1. What do you put in a toaster?The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself withreading something more appropriate such as "Children`s World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass", then go on toquestion four.4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politicallydivided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the fl... Read more

The World`s Easiest Quiz?(Answers at the bottom. NO CHEATING!)1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?2) Which country makes Panama hats?3) From which animal do we get catgut?4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?5) What is a camel`s hair brush made of?6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?7) What was King George VI`s first name?8) What color is a purple finch?9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?10) How long did the T... Read more

Time to do the inner-blonde test! Pay close attention! There are 10 questions, so you should be able to answer them all in 5 minutes. DO NOT look at the answers found at the end of this document, that would be cheating! Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference!--------------------------------------------1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills taken?3. I went to bed at eight o`clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o`clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being woken by the alarm?4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What colour is the bear?8. Take... Read more

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Wrong Answer!Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals a... Read more

A couple of tough questionsQuestion 1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.Question 2:It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.Candidate A -Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He`s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.Candidate B -He was kick... Read more

Ever wonder which cartoon character you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of cartoon characters. The gathered information has been incorporated into this quiz.Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, then add up the points that correspond with your answers.>1. Which describes your perfect date?a) Candlelight dinner for twob) Amusement Parkc) Rollerblading in the parkd) Rock Concerte) See a movie>2. What is your favorite type of music?a) Rock and Rollb) Alternativec) Soft Rockd) Classicale) Christian>3. What is your favorite type of movie?a) Comedyb) Horrorc) Musicald) Romancee) Documentary>4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only>these choices?a) Waiter/Waitressb) Sports Playerc) Teacherd) Policemane) Bartender>5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?a) Work outb) Readc) Watch TVd) Listen to the radioe) Sleep>6. Of the following colors, which do you like the best?a) Yellowb) Whitec) Sky blued) Teale) Red>7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?a) Ice creamb) Pizzac) Sushid) Pastae) Salad>8. Which is your favorite holiday?a) Halloweenb) Christmasc) New Year`sd) Valentine`s Daye) Thanksgiving>9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?a) Parisb) Spainc) Las Vegasd) Hawaiie) Hollywood>10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?a) Someone who is smartb) Someone with good looksc) Someone who is a party animald) Someone who has fun all the timee) Someone who is very emotional>Now total up your points on each question and find your characterbelow:1. a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-32. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-33. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-54. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-15. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-36. ... Read more

City of Los AngelesHigh School Math Proficiency ExamName:____________________Gang:________________________1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn`t cut it?3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounc... Read more

Are You a Nerd?INTRODUCTION:Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it`s just us. In any event, we here at the nerdity testing lab were prompted to ask "just what is a nerd?" In response, we came up with this test. By taking it, you will determine your current nerdity quotient (from 0% to 100%), with 100% roughly corresponding to a pile of sludge unable to communicate with anything human except through a device that is a miracle of modern medicine and engineering, and whose only connection to the outside world is through the computer internet system.GRADING:As this test is being distributed primarily in places of high concentrations of known nerds, and nerds in turn tend to have nerd friends, that someone who has never heard of or seen the nerdity test is assumed to be 0% nerd. However, once such knowledge comes to them, they are immediately placed in the 100% nerdity category. This is done because it is also assumed that only a true geek would utter something to the effect of: "Nerdity test?!? What a stupid concept! I`m too cool to take something as dumb as that." The values in between are determined by taking the test and scoring it as follows.For each question below for which you can answer "yes" or "true", take one point. At the end of the test, divide the total number of points you scored by the total number of questions in the test. Treat this number as a percentage that represents your nerdity quotient.Some of the questions will have parentheticals at the end of them. What is contained within the parentheticals is a short list of examples relating to the given question. The list is not to be taken as all inclusive but merely as suggestions that might apply.All technicalities count - after all, being technical is half of what being a nerd is all about.RECOMMENDATIONS and HINTS:It is felt that for maximum enjoyment, you should respond out loud with your answers. You should treat each "yes" that you say as a personal catharsis of what you are doing wrong (or right depending on your opinion of nerdity) and each "no" may then be disputed by your peers. In this way, errors due to lying or personal oversight are avoided and the test also has a therapeutic effect for the closet nerd. As an aside, information gleaned about others should be treated confidentially. Each of us has a dork-side that we don`t want others to know about.Experiment shows that nerdity CAN be cured! With effort and personal sacrifice... The nerdity quotient is a cross between proclivity toward as well as actual current status in nerddom. Some questions are "have you ever..." while others are "do you now...". The former register the fact that you have a propensity toward nerdity, while the later acknowledge the fact that you are currently geeking. Obviously, as your answers toward the "do you now" type questions change, so will your nerd quotient.Please use only a number two pencil. Mark all answers in your blue book. Shake well before using. Lather. Rinse. Repeat as desired. Show all work. Refrigerate after opening. No partial credit will be given. A table of useful formulas is included at the end. You may begin.... NOW!SECTION 1: Education and Schooling1. Have you ever taken a "higher" math course? (Trig, Calculus)2. ...at the college level?3. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?4. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #1?5. Have you ever taken a science course? (Biology, Physics, Chemistry)6. ...at the college level?7. ...and received an A (3.7 grade point)?8. Are you still capable of doing what you learned in the course of #5?9. Have you ever majored in the "hard sciences"? (engineering, physics chemistry, etc. but excluding psychology, economics, etc.)10. Have you ever taken Latin?11. Have you ever asked a question in lecture?12. Have you ever answered a question asked in lecture?13. Have you ever corrected a professor in lecture?14. Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?15. Have you ever given a lecture?16. Do you sit in the front row more than 20% of the time?17. Have you ever had a "perfect attendance record"?18. Have you ever verified an equation in a science text on your own? (i.e. experimental proof)19. Have you ever derived an equation you found in a science text?20. ...when you didn`t have to?21. ...using other principles? (starting from a different equation than the text did)22. Do you take notes in more than one color?23. Do you use other props when taking notes? (ruler, compass, protractor)24. Have you ever tutored someone else?25. Have you ever done homework on a Friday night?26. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?27. Have you taken any classes pass/fail just to preserve your GPA?28. Have you ever known more about the subject material than the lecturer?29. ...but continued in the class because you "needed the grade?"30. ...and had the lecturer admit this fact to you?31. Have you ever had an argument with a professor?32. Did you win?33. Has a lecturer ever referred someone to you as being more knowledgeable?34. Did you apply to any college merely for the sake of "seeing if I would get in"?35. Was your SAT math more than 300 above your verbal?36. Did you score higher than 1200 combined on the SAT?SECTION 2: Knowledge37. Can you count in binary? (up to decimal 10)38. Can you count in hexadecimal? (up to decimal 20)39. Can you count in Roman numerals?40. Do you know Maxwell`s equations? (integral or differential form)41. Do you know Schroedinger`s Equation?42. Have you ever solved Schroedinger`s Equation?43. ...for fun?44. Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector?45. Do you know the difference between a vector and a tensor?46. Do you know the right-hand-rule for cross-products?47. Do you know the Latin name (genus and species) for anything? (fruit fly, human being)48. Can you understand the owner`s manual for electronic equipment?49. Can you understand the electronic schematic for electronic equipment?50. Do you know what a "reverse polish notation" calculator is?51. Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order?52. Can you translate more than half the chemical symbols into the name of the element they represent?53. Do you know the wavelengths in the visible spectrum?54. Are you bilingual?55. ...and not an immigrant or child of an immigrant?56. Can you briefly outline the biological process that occur due to alcohol when it is consumed by a human?57. ...while drunk?58. Do you know how your car`s engine works?59. Have you ever interpolated?60. Have you ever extrapolated?61. Do you know the difference between interpolation and extrapolation?62. Have you ever integrated numerically?63. ...and known the result ahead of time?64. ...and complained about how slow the computer was?65. Have you ever seen or utilized the spherical harmonic functions?66. ...and found them aesthetically pleasing?67. Do you know most of the words to "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python?68. Do you own an encyclopedia?69. Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren`t researching?70. Have you ever wanted to know something for no apparent reason?71. Have you ever been laughed at for wanting to know something?72. Can you program the time on a VCR?73. Has anyone ever asked you to program their VCR time for them?74. Have you ever used the word "asymptotic"?75. Have you ever referred to something as an L.E.D.?76. Have you ever referred to a ruler as a "straight-edge"?77. Have you ever said "quartz crystal"?78. Have you ever called something a "print out" or "hard copy"?79. Have you ever referred to a curve/object as hyperbolic, parabolic, etc.?80. Do you feel your vocabulary is larger than most people`s?81. Is your IQ greater than your weight?Answer YES if you know what the following acronyms stand for. Note: it may be useful to actually state out loud what you think the acronym stands for as your interpretation may be wrong or not the nerdy one being sought after.82. ...RADAR?83. ...MODEM?84. ...RAM?85. ...DNA?86. ...ATP?87. ...NADP?88. ...CRT?89. ...CRC?90. ...STP?91. ...NORAD?92. ...NASA?93. ...MUD?94. ...LED?95. ...AI?96. ...LASER?97. ...RPG?98. ...TLA?99. ...SCUBA?100. ...WYSIWYG?101. ...DAT?102. ...PINE?103. ...JOVE?104. Did you not know one of the above, but took a wild guess at in anyway?105. Have you ever created an acronym in order to simplify your writing?The next few questions deal with physical constants. Mark yes for any that you can give the value (2 or more significant digits) for. Knowledge of the units attached is NOT necessary, just the numeric portion.106. gravitational constant? (G)107. earth`s gravity near the surface? (g)108. mass of an electron?109. charge of an electron?110. speed of light in vacuum?111. speed of sound at STP?112. Planck`s constant? (h or h-bar)113. permittivity of free space? (epsilon naught)114. permeability of free space? (mu naught)115. Avogadro`s number?116. molar gas constant?117. pi? (exception: must know more than 3 digits)118. Mark this true if you are presently the person knowing the most digits of pi in the room.119. e? (exception: must know more than 3 digits)Can you give the conversion factor between... (2 or more sig. digits)120. ...centimeters and inches?121. ...kilometers and miles?122. ...joules and electron-volts?123. ...atomic mass units and kilograms?124. ...Celsius and Kelvin?125. ...Celsius and Fahrenheit?126. ...meters and Astronomical Units (AU)?127. ...AU and light years?128. ...light years and parsecs?129. If, while answering any question in this section, you said someone else`s answer was wrong and were right, mark this question true. (e.g. "you nob! Pi isn`t 3.1425. It`s 3.1415!")130. If while answering any question in this section, you checked a reference book to find out the correct answer, mark this question true. (e.g. "AARRGGH! What`s that last R in radar stand for?")SECTION 3: Computers131. Have you ever used a computer?132. ...for more than 4 hours continuously?133. ...for more than 8 hours continuously?134. ...past 4 a.m.?135. ...as a source of income?136. ...on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend?137. ...with someone you were physically attracted toward?138. ...for money?139. ...in the last 24 hours?140. ...in the last half hour?141. ...as a source of entertainment? (computer game)142. ...in the last three months?143. ...in the last three weeks?144. Have you ever programmed a computer?145. ...to write a computer game?146. ...to write a computer virus?147. ...to write a shell script?148. Do you still own any computer with less than 512k of RAM? (e.g. Commodore 64, Apple II +/e/c, TRS 80, ad infinitum)149. ...that is still in working condition?150. ...and still buy software for it?151. Do you own more than one computer with at least a megabyte of RAM?152. Do you own any computer which would be classified as a work station?153. Have you ever taken your computer on vacation with you?154. Have you ever lost sleep over a computer game?Have you ever used a ...155. mouse?156. hard disk drive?157. light-pen?158. computer with a touch sensitive monitor?159. track-ball?160. ...for something other than a video game?161. Devorak keyboard? (as opposed to QWERTY)162. modem?163. Have you ever seen a magnetic tape reel?164. Have you ever mounted a magnetic tape reel?165. Have you ever seen a computer punch card?166. Have you ever programmed using punch cards?167. Are you still capable of programming with punch cards?168. Do you have any "pirated" software? (i.e. second-hand copywritten)169. Do you have any "public-domain" software?170. Do you have any "shareware"? (i.e. software author requests a fee be sent to them for its use)171. Do you currently own a modem capable of 14.4kbs or faster?172. Do you still own any modem whose top speed is 300 baud or less?173. Have you ever telnet`ed from one computer system to another?174. ...to gain access to a system you had no authorization on?175. ...to call a government computer? (NASA, FBI, NORAD, etc.)176. ...to call a research institution? (CERN, JPL, etc.)177. ...where the other machine was outside of your native country?178. Do you have an electronic mail address?179. ...more than one e-mail address?180. Have you ever sent e-mail?181. ...to yourself?182. ...to someone who was in the same room as you at the time?183. ...with a .sig file appended to the end of it?184. ...in the last week?185. Have you ever set up and run a mailing list for e-mail?186. Do you receive more e-mail than you send?187. Have you ever FTP`d?188. ...anonymously?189. Have you ever uploaded?190. Have you ever downloaded?191. Have you ever multi-tasked? (ran 2+ applications concurrently)192. Have you ever set up a kill file?193. ...that does more than simply `kill`?194. Do you have a .plan or similar file for when people finger you?195. Have you set up a login.com or similar file for auto-execution on logging unto a computer system? (autoexec.bat, login.com...)196. Do you use alias/batch commands to standardize your OS? (e.g. alias dir ls)197. Have you ever read the postings on USENET?198. ...in the last week?199. Have you posted to USENET?200. ...and gotten a response?201. ...from someone you knew outside of the net?202. ...and gotten a "flame"?Have you ever posted to...203. ...a science fiction news group? (rec.arts.sf)204. ...a sex news group? (alt.sex)205. ...talk.bizarre?206. ...rec.humor?207. ...a sci. or science-related news group?208. Have you ever written a FAQ for a USENET news group?209. Have you ever run a vote for a USENET news group?210. Have you ever moderated a USENET news group?211. Have you played any MUD`s, MUSH`s or other multi-user games?212. ...in the last week?213. ...today?214. Do you consistently play more than one MUD, MUSH, etc.?215. Are you a "wizard/implementor/immortal" on any MUD`s, MUSH`s, etc.?216. Do you have GIF files as wallpaper?217. Is part of your desk space devoted to your computer?218. Have you ever built a computer?219. ...from chips?220. Do you have a favorite computer language?221. ...that you`ve had to defend in verbal debate?Which of the following computer languages do you know...222. ...BASIC?223. ...PASCAL?224. ...FORTRAN?225. ...assembly language?226. ...C?227. Have you ever forgotten a person`s name but not their e-mail address?228. Do you know more computer addresses than street addresses?229. Do you tend to remember the IP numbers instead of the alpha address for computer sites? (128.253.232.63 vs. crux3.cit.cornell.edu)230. Do you find that you type more often than you write longhand?231. Have you ever forgotten how to write longhand?232. Have you ever used computer symbology elsewhere? (goto, *, etc.)233. Have you ever spoken internet-ese? (btw, imho, :), brb, afk)234. Have you ever blown off doing something you were supposed to do in order to work on the computer?235. Have you ever felt jealous of someone merely because they owned a better c... Read more

Brain Teasers1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it`s highest, how many rungs are under water?4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass,and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?Same question, but the location is in Canada?9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.10. What can go up a chimney down, but can`t go down a chimney up? (hint... chim chimminy)11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined ... Read more

True or False?1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a bellybutton.3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it`s from being indoors a lot more.5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don`t appear until they are 2-6 years old.9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.11. The average housefly lives for one month.12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.17. The REAL... Read more