German Jokes Category

A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs.But as the weeks went by, they gave him a call to complain that the package had not yet arrived.He told them, "Don`t worry. The wurst is yet to come." Read more

A German comes to London and stays with Maurice and his family.The first morning they all have breakfast together and have bagels. The German exclaims "Wow we don`t have bagels like this in Germany."To which Maurice stands up and yells "And who`s fault is that?" Read more

Q. Why are French streets tree-lined?

A. So the Germans could march in the shade. Read more

I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me."Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed. Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten."I don`t want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German." Read more

"Two Martinis, bitte.""Dry?""Nein, I said TWO!" Read more

Knock KnockWho`s there?GestapoGestapo who?Ve Vill ask ze Questions! Read more

Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you`re hungry for power. Read more

I was walking through the Olympic village in Munich when I seen a man walking along with a long stick over his shoulder. I asked the man `are you a pole vaulter?` and he replied `no I`m German and how did you no my name is Volter?` Read more