Hillary Clinton Jokes Category

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.""No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy.""I`m afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would c... Read more

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is... Read more

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".Hillary tosses h... Read more

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie`s lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes.The Genie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...What`ll it be?"Bill didn`t hesitate. He said, "I want to be remembered for bringing peace to the Middle East, instead of that other stuff with Monica, and Jennifer, and the rest of those women. See this map? I want these countries to stop figh... Read more

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world.After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is."Kenneth.""And what is your question, Kenneth?""I have three questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And third - whatever happened to all thosethings you took when you left the White House?"Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddiesthat they will continue af... Read more

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There`s no easy way to say this, so I`ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and hor... Read more

By accident Hillary Clinton and Bob Dole met."If I were your wive", Hilary said, "I`d put... Read more

On the Listening Tour, Hillary was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town she was visiting had named a sa... Read more

Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer..."I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim.In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."Hillary pondered for a moment ... Read more

Signs Hillary Clinton Does Not Understand New York* Actually ate a street vendor hot dog.* Sees Statue of Liberty and asks, "Oh, is that new?"* Believes the Mets can take it all the way this year.* Gave speech to Hasidic Jews in which she promised to "fight for the rights of you Amish folk."* ... Read more