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Housekeeping Jokes Category
Martha`s way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in ...
Martha`s way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone.Martha`s way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you`ll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.Martha`s way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.My way: Buy a mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.Martha`s way #4: To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.My way: Who cares if they crack, aren`t you going to take the shells off anyway?Martha`s way #5: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.My way: Eat out every night and avoid cooking.Martha`s way #6: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won`t be any stains.`My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won`t be any leftovers.Martha`s way #7: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won`t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.My way: Go to the bakery. They`ll even decorate it for you.Martha`s way #8: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it`s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that`s too bad. My motto: If it`s cooked, you will eat it no matter how bad it tastes.Martha`s way #9: Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?Martha`s way #10: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn`s natural sweetness.My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.Martha`s way #11: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.My way: Go ask the muscular neighbor to do it.Martha`s way #12: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.My way: Instant mashed potatoes will now be next to the anti-bacterial soap in a handy dispenser next to my sink.Martha`s way #13: Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer:* Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.* Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.* Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.* Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.
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