Insurance Jokes Category

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package." Read more

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn`t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, sellinginsurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones` sales pitch.Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government hasto pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don`t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?" Read more

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against .... get this .... fire.Within a month, having smoked his entirestockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yetto make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.The man sued ... and won!!In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge`s ruling and paid the man $15,000 forthe rare cigars he lost in "the fires."After the man cashed his check, however, theinsurance company had him arrested... on 24counts of arson!With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars andsentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms. Read more

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn`t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones`s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, ?If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don`t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.??Now,? he concluded, ?which bunch do you think they are going to send into battlefirst?? Read more

A farmer who`s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim."I understand you`re claiming damages for the injuries you`re supposed to have suffered?" stated the counsel for the insurance company."Yes, that`s right," replied the farmer, nodding his head."You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, `I`ve never felt better in my life.` Is that the case?""Yeah, but --" stammered the farmer."A simple yes or no will suffice," counselinterrupted quickly."Yes," Replied the farmer.Then it was the turn of the farmer`s counsel to ask him questions."Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said."Certainly," replied the farmer. "After theaccident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead."Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling."Now, what the heck would you have said tohim?" Read more

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to afarmer.?Look at it this way,? he said finally. ?How would your wife carry on if you should die???Well . . .? drawled the weather-beaten man, ?I don`t reckon that`d be anyconcern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I`m alive.? Read more

?Don`t let me pressure you,? the life insurance salesman said. ?Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up in the morning, you can give me a call.? Read more