Irish Jokes Category

A young Irish girl goes into her irish priest on Saturday morning for confession. "irish father, forgive me for I have Thinned." "You`ve Thinned?" "Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me thre... Read more

McCuen stumbled out of a saloon right into the arms of irish father Logan. "Inebriated again!" declared the irish priest. "Shame on you! When are you going to straighten out your life??" "irish father," asked McCu... Read more

Young O`Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "irish father," he said breathlessly, "I`ve just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British cap... Read more

One little Atheist boy`s parents were very concerned about his grades in school. They noticed that his study habits were poor, that he wouldn`t concentrate, and that he had zero initiative as far as homework was concerned, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. They noticed an immediate improvement in his overall school performance, especially in math. Every day he would come home from school and promptly head upstairs and begin studying his numbers. Amazed, his parents asked him what it was that motivated him to study so hard. "Is... Read more

Two leprechauns went to the convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little people?" asked mother superior. the larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "oh mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns here at the convent?" "No," says mother superior, "I don`t have any midget nuns here at the convent" "all right than, mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland than?" "no, no," replied mother ... Read more

It seem an old rabbi, in seeing his son graduate from high school, wanted to know what be the youths plans. He called the son into his study and questioned him. "Son, I vish to know, what kind of career are you going to have"? The rabbi laid on a table three items, a $100 bill, a fifth of Jamesons and the good book. He looked to the boy and said, " Ve need to know your future. If you take the $100 bill, you will become a gambler, and that is very terrible. If you take the fifth of Jameson`s, you will become a drunkard and that too is very, very bad. But...If you take the good book, you will become a rabbi, like you Papa. Th... Read more

Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion.One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his parish irish priest and asked if services could be said for his dog. The good irish father said "oh no, we ca... Read more

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man says "I can`t take anything from you, I`m just glad I didn`t hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I`ll give him the three things that I would want. I`ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this... Read more

A wealthy farmer went to church one Sunday. After services he said to the irish priest, "irish father, that was a damned good sermon you gave, damned good!" "I`m happy you liked it," said the irish priest. "But I wish you wouldn`t use those t... Read more

Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, irish father, for I have sinned," he said. "I`ve blown up three hun... Read more