Applied mathematicsROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + ...

Applied mathematicsROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = affairDumb man + smart woman = marriageDumb man + dumb woman = pregnancyOFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss + smart employee = profitSmart boss + dumb employee = productionDumb boss + smart employee = promotionDumb boss + dumb employee = overtimeSHOPPING MATHA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t need.GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICSA woman worries about the future until she gets a husbandA man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.HAPPINESSTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.LONGEVITYMarried men live longer than single men, butmarried men are a lot more willing to die.MEMORYAny married man should forget his mistakes, there`s no use in two people remembering the same thing.APPEARANCEMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.PROPENSITY TO CHANGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn`t.A man marries a woman expecting that she won`t change, and she does.DISCUSSION TECHNIQUEA woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.COMPREHENSIONThere are 2 times when a man doesn`t understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You`re next."They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.