LIFE`S OBSERVATIONS:1. Marriage changes passion; s...

LIFE`S OBSERVATIONS:1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you`re in bed with a relative.2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."3. I have my own little world. But it`s OK, they know me here.4. Money can`t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?6. I don`t approve of political jokes. I`ve seen too many of them get elected.7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.8. I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.9. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley.10. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.11. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?12. Isn`t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?