Male Jokes Category

One day, Murphy and O'Brien went deer hunting in the woods.
They sit in the woods for hours, when suddenly this humongous buck comes into view. With a nice clean shot, O'Brien bangs the buck.
They drag it back to camp by the butt, but the antlers keep getting stuck.
Another hunter says,

"You guys should drag it by the antlers. It won't get stuck."

They do, and Murphy yells, "Hey, he was right. He is not getting stuck."

O'Brien replies, "Yeah, but we're getting farther away from camp."

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

There was a manager of a company who was ready to retire, so he began training his replacement. Just before he left for good, he took the replacement aside and told him that if he ever got really jammed up, he should look in the center drawer of his desk and he would find two envelopes. He told him to open envelope #1.

Well, time goes by and one day, a big project went bad and the new manager was in real trouble over it.
He remembered the drawer and the envelopes and went and got envelope #1 and opened it. Inside was a sheet of paper with just two words on it---"Blame me!"

A few months later, the new manager again found himself in hot water and remembered that there was an envelope #2. He went and opened that one and found another note. This one read, "Go get two envelopes".

Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man?

A: Stupid!

Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman?

A: Desperate!

A man tells his friend, Las Vegas is loaded with all kinds of gambling devices.

"Dice tables, slot machines, and wedding chapels.

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?

He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Martin asked David, "In which state does the Ohio River run?"

David answered with cool, "In the liquid state."

Q: A man leaves his house and makes three left turns. On his way home, he passes two guys in masks. What does he do for a living?

A: He is a baseball player!

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm?"

He shows his hand to her, and she says, "But...I can't read your hand."

"Why?" the man asks.

"I don't understand your handwriting," the woman replies.

What is the difference between a tyre and 365 condoms?

One's a goodyear and the other is a bloody good year...