Marriage Jokes Category

A wife concern with her husband`s driving said; "Dear, aren`t you driving a little too fast?
Her husband replied; don`t you believe in a guardian angel? He will take care of us.
His wife said: Yes, I do. But I am afraid we left him miles back!

Read more

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in tears on the couch. "Darling` he implored, "Believe me. I never said you were a terrible cook. I merely pointed out that our garbage disposal has developed an ulcer. Read more

One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage counselor "the only reason we are married because neither of us want custody of the children" Read more

The court was listening to the testimony of the wife who sought a divorce.
"Tell me explicitly," the judge directed the woman, "what fault you have found with your husband."
The wife was explicit: "He's a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless fool!"
"Tut, tut!" the judge remonstrated. "I suspect you would find difficulty in proving your assertions."
"Prove it!" was the retort. "Why everybody knows it."
"If you knew it," his honor demanded sarcastically, "why did you marry him?"
"I didn't know it before I married him."
The husband interrupted angrily: "Yes she did too," he shouted. "She did so!" Read more

A man has to wear three rings in his life
- Engagement ring
- Wedding ring
- SUFFERING
Read more

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he would like a bottle of Christian Dior for his wife`s birthday.
"A little surprise eh? said the clerk.
"You bet, replied the man. "She is expecting a cruise.
Read more

Mother: "I'm afraid our son has decided to take up acting."
Father: "What's so bad about that?"
Mother: "Well, he's gotten so big that whenever he appears in a play, he crashes right through the floor."
Father: "Don't worry about it. It's a stage he's going through..." Read more

Before the weeding day the groom told the bride: "I want you to be the major of the household to be making the major decisions & I'll just make the general ones" The
The bride, having heard that, happily kissed her husband-to-be"
Overheard their conversation, the groom's friend, pulled him aside & asked: "Are you crazy? How could she be making all the major decisions in the household!" The
Groom, smiling cautiously whispered to him. "She`s the Major but I'm the General. Get it?"
Read more

Phil: Have you ever suspected your wife of leading a double life?
Ralph: You bet. Hers and mine! Read more

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Read more