Math Jokes Category

Another von Neumann quote : Young man, in mathematics you don`t understand things, you just get used to them. Read more

The mathematician S. had to move to a new place. His wife didn`t trust him very much, so when they stood down on the street with all their things, she asked him to watch their ten trunks, while she get a taxi. Some minutes later she returned. Said the husband: "I thought you said there were ten trunks, but I`ve only counted to nine." The wife said: "No, they`re TEN!" "But I have counted them: 0, 1, 2, ..." Read more

After Laplace completed his masterpiece Mecanique Celeste (Mechanics of the Heavens) he presented a copy to his friend Napoleon. Napoleon, who also was a mathematician, after going through the book called in Laplace and said to him: "You have written a book about Mechanics of the Heavens without mentioning God?" Laplace replied: "Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis". Read more

One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." St. Thomas looked very confused and asked St. Peter: "What does the teacher mean?" St.Peter replied: "Don`t worry - it`s just another one of his parabolas." Q: What is the area of a circle?

A: pi R^2? R: Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. Read more

Q:What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol. Read more

Q:What is a dilemma?

A: A lemma that proves two results. Read more

Q: What`s nonorientable and lives in the sea?

A: Moebius Dick. Read more

Q: What`s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice. A: Zorn`s Lemon. Read more

Q: What`s purple and commutes?

A: An abelian grape. Read more

Q: What`s yellow, linear, normed and complete?

A: A Bananach space. Read more