Norwegian Jokes Category

So, Sven and Ole are bungee-jumping one day. Sven says to OLe, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." Ole thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they`ll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Sven jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Ole notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole isn`t able catch him, Sven falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again,Ole misses him. Sven falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he`s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" Sven says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a pinata?" Read more

Sven was buying his first TV. He went into the furniture shop where Ole worked as a salesman. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven said. "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes" Ole said. Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. He bought himself a very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned a new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Hey, man, be cool. I really dig that TV there. How much you want for it, cat?" Sven asked. Ole didn`t pause in his response. "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes!" Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. He went to a neighboring city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Howdy, partner, I`d sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, wa-ja say?" Sven asked. Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes!" Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did you know I`m a Svede?" "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen." Read more

Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. The boss noticed and asked where he had been. Ole: "Getting a haircut." Boss: "On company time?" Ole: "It grew on company time." Boss: "Not all of it." Ole: "I didn`t get it all cut off." Read more

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". And Sven says "I`ve never heard of that Ole, how`s it work?" And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn`t that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down." Read more

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK." Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn`t get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage." Read more