Nurse Jokes Category

Top Ten Inspirational Sayings We`d Like to See at the Nurse`s Station 10. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 9. If at first you don`t succeed...try management. 8. TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself. 7. Hang in there....retirement is only 35 years away! 6. Go the extra mile...it makes your supervisor look incompetent. 5. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. 4. Administration...we waste time so you don`t have to. 3. The beatings will continue until morale improves. 2. A person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat. 1. Succeed in spite of Administration. Read more

Top Ten Things You Need To Know To Be A Nurse 10. If it`s wet make it dry. 9. If it`s dry make it wet. 8. Always ask for on-call pay before agreeing to overtime. 7. Never tell management what you are really thinking. 6. Never finish report with, "You have an easy assignment". 5. Never say. "This looks like a easy assignment". 4. Don`t expect nurses aids to do their job. 3. Don`t expect doctors to believe any thing you tell them. 2. If you don`t have enough time to do everything, take about 30 minutes to complain about it. 1. If it moves, rattles, shakes, falls down, or won`t stay in place: tape it. Read more

Top 10 Reasons to Become a Nurse 10. Pays better than McDonald`s (though the hours aren`t as good.) 9. Fashionable shoes and sexy uniforms. 8. Needles: `tis better to give than to receive. 7. Confidence in reassuring patients that all bleeding stops ... eventually. 6. Opportunity to expose yourself to rare, exotic, and exciting new diseases. 5. Interesting aromas. 4. Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly clear handwriting. 3. Admit it, it`s a lot easier than med school. 2. Celebration of holidays with all your friends ... at work. 1. Comfort in the knowledge that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them. Read more

Top ten reasons to become a nurse: 1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren`t as good. 2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms. 3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive" 4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually. 5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases. 6) Interesting aromas. 7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. 8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work. 10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart. Read more

You know you`re a nurse if... You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock. Read more