Office Jokes Category

Work is the curse of the drinking class. Read more

No man goes before his time. Unless, of course, the boss leaves early. Read more

Pride, Commitment, Teamwork. Words we use to get you to work for free. Read more

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careered down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you`re both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again." Read more

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself. Read more

To err is human. To forgive is not company policy. Read more

If at first you don`t succeed, have you considered becoming a personnel officer? Read more

A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from your secretary. Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now has no excuse for further procrastination. Read more

There is very little future in being right when your boss is wrong. Read more

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you`ll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don`t buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you`ll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, Ticket, please." Read more