Osama Bin Laden Jokes Category

Letter from OsamaHi guys. We`ve all been putting in long hours but we`ve really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says, "There is no `I` in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious.However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can`t foget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns. First of all, while it`s good to be concerned about the cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don`t want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily. I`ve posted a sign up sheet near the main cave ... Read more

Osama`s ValentineLittle David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine`s Day. "Since Valentine`s Day is for a Christian saint and we`re Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"David`s father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don`t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," David says."Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock."Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love ... Read more

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have... Read more

Osama in HeavenAfter getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington."How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" says Washington, slapping Osama in the face.Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans` liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drop... Read more

Reports from Afghanistan say that the Marine Special Forces have been seen wearing t-shirts that read:I... Read more

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?

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Osama bin Laden goes to a psychic who says "You will die on an American holiday" Needless to say bin Laden is shock... Read more

Ways To Annoy Osama Bin LadenPoint out the lice in his beard to make him feel self-conscious.Pause for a moment, listen carefully, and say, "Doesn`t that sound a lot like a B-52?"Ask him if he`s looking forward to replacing Hitler as Satan`s favorite chew toy in the lowest inferno of Hell.Tell him all about your great vacation to Saudi Arabia, where you went absolutely everywhere and did everything, just stomped all over the place.Use his satellite phone to call the time and weather line in Buenos Aires and leave it off the hook.Tell him how much less you paid for your Kalashnikov rifle.Now that you know the address of his secret cave hideout, fill out magazine subscription cards for him for the Wine Spectator and Penthouse. But do not, under any circumstances, send him Popular Mechanics.Order him ten Domino`s pizzas with extra ham topping.Correct him when he ends a sentence with a preposition.Ask whether the Taliban gets cable, because you haven`t seen "Sex and the City" for weeks.Yank the end of his turban really hard to make him spin around like a top.Switch all the CD`s in the jewel boxes in his CD collection, so that when he reaches for Michael Bolton, he`ll actually get the Mohammed Rafi.Mine his bathroom.Leave business cards for the Israeli Mossad in his Rolodex.Take pictures of all his wives and post them on www.AmIhotOrNot.comAsk him if he wears boxers or briefs. Check. Take pictures. Again, post these on www.AmIhotOrNot.comGive him a Hot Chicks of Palestine calendar.Ask him if Paradise is different for each person, and whether in your own paradise you`ll get to "kick his butt every day for eternity".Refer to him as "Osama-osama-fee-fi-fo-fama bin Laden".Ask whether suicide bombers have to pay union dues.Tell him it`s lovely what he`s done with his cave, but that it`d look much nicer covered with huge, smoking craters.At dinner, imply ... Read more

The Top 17 Songs About Osama bin Laden17. Bomb Drops Keep Fallin` on my Head16. Ain`t No Mountain High Enough, or With Enough Caves15. Taliban on the Run14. Jalalabad Moon Risin`13. Fifty Ways to Leave Your Bunker12. Freebeard11. Allah Said Knock You Out10. The Goatest Love of All9. Don`t Cry for Me, Al Qaeda8. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clau (So I Cut Off Her Hands and Publicly Ston... Read more

David Letterman presented an hour-by-hour account of a day in the life of Osama bin Laden:7:00 am: "He wakes up and asks his assistant, `Am I still alive?`"8:00 am: "Has a nutritious breakfast of sand and dirt."10:30 am: "He takes his camel in for a tune-up at Mazar-e-Sharif Amoco."11:30 am: "Has trouble opening a jar of peanut butter; declares jihad against Skippy."1:00 pm: "Tae-Bo."1:30 pm: "Records a video demanding America surrender or else he`ll make another vi... Read more