During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, "TOUCHDOWN!!" Read more

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." Read more

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What`s a pirate`s favorite socks? Arrrrgyle. Read more

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I knew this eccentric Frenchman who raises carp in the south of France. When the carp are full grown, he catches them, skins them, and makes men`s wallets out of the skins. He is, in fact, a man known for his carp to carp walleting. Read more

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Saturday, October 13. 2007 What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich! Read more

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There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philippines. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard. Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. verri faast!!" Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good!, very faast" The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap`s proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it. "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, also verri good, very fast. Mmmm!" It was not long after reaching the designated hotel, the cab halted in front of the lobby door, the cab-driver stared at the meter and proclaimed. "That will be US$239.40, sir!" "Nan desu-ka! What?", the Jap was astonished. "The airport verrinear to hotel. "Er, sir, this meter is NEC, made in Japan, very good and `very faast`. Read more

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A swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The norwegian suggested that the swede let the air out of the tires. The swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top." Read more

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What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm. Read more

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Rules: (1) The boss is always right. (2) When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1. Read more

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Two old women were sitting on the bench talking, when one asked the other, "How`s your Paddy holding up in bed these days?" The second old lady replied, "He makes me feel like an exercise bike." "How`s that?" "He climbs on and starts pumping away but we never get anywhere!" Read more

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