Pig Jokes Category

A man was driving down the road in the country. He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He stopped and picked up the pig. He was driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over.Cop asks "Hey, What are you doing with that pig in the car?"The driver says "Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field."The cop says" I want you to take that pig to the zoo!"The driver agrees he will take the pig to the zoo.The next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THAT PIG TO THE ZOO!!"He replied, "Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now." Read more

Animals-Pigs/SheepDo you think sheep know when you`re pulling the wool over their eyes?Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?If we make sweaters out of a sheep`s hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters?If you can`t make a silk purse from a sow`s ear what can you make with it?If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?What do pigs say when they don`t want to do something? Would it be `Yeawhen humans fly`?What do sheep count when they can`t get to sleep?Why can`t pigs look up into the sky?Why do pigs have curly tails?Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs?Why don`t sheep shrink when it rains?Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn?Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?Would a small pig be called a hamlet? Read more

Q. What`s a pig`s favorite ballet?

A. Swine Lake. Read more

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!" Read more

Q. Why did the three little pigs decide to leave home?

A. They thought their father was an awful boar. Read more

When were pigs made?In the Saus-age Read more

A traveler was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway. As he drove by, he saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens and pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, muttered to himself and then looked a third time. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg!He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveler said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, and I noticed something that I just had to stop and ask about. Tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?" The farmer smiled. "Oh, that would be old Caesar you saw. He`s the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Well, let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? That`s a mining dredge, taking out platinum ore. Old Caesar sniffed out the vein and showed us how to set it up. Now that dredge brings me in about $120,000 every year."There`s another thing, too, a little more personal. One night a couple of years ago I got to drinking and I guess I had more than I should have. I passed out drunk, fell down and knocked over a lamp. That started a fire in the house and old Caesar smelled the smoke. He came in the back door, got the wife and kid out, roused me up and got me out. "There is no question about it - that night old Caesar saved all our lives and you know that is not the sort of thing a man is going to forget too easily.""Why," the traveler said, "this is all amazing! I have never heard of a pig like this before! This is fantastic! But tell me, how did he get that wooden leg? Was he in a wreck or something?"The farmer laughed and said, "Well, naturally, when you have a pig that smart, you don`t want to eat him all at one time!" Read more

On a drive in the country, a city slicker noticed a farmer lifting a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another."Maybe I don`t know what I`m talking about," said the city slicker, "but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn`t it save a lot of time?""Time?" said the farmer. "What does time matter to a pig?" Read more

What is a crafty pig called?CunningHAM. Read more

What did the exasperated Jewish pig say?"Oink Vey" Read more