You might be a preacher if...You`ve waded in a cre...

You might be a preacher if...You`ve waded in a creek wearing a necktie.You`ve ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover who you were.You`d rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.A church picnic is no picnic.You`ve ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.You`ve been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.You`ve ever wanted to give the soundman some feedback of your own.You`ve ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you weren`t thinking of praying for him.You often feel like you`re herding mules rather than shepherding sheep.Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone`s happy when it ends!You`ve never preached on TV, but your wife made you get down before you break something.It`s your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.