Shopping Jokes Category

A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend`s yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale.""I`m sure he`ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied."Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he`s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set." Read more

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him."Everything`s fine, Folks," he reassured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items." Read more

Somewhere around 60 years ago, according to Zeddie Gillenwater of Sumerco, a woman sold her tobacco crop and, with a stack of bills in her hand, headed off to the store to buy a good, wood-burning stove."We have several different makes and sizes," the clerk said. "About what BTU did you have in mind?""B-T-U?""Yes, ma`am. That`s a unit of measure, a way to measure heat.""Well, I don`t know nothin` about B-T-U. All I want is a stove big enough to heat a B-U-T as big as a T-U-B." Read more

Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?""Two for a quarter," answered the vendor."How much is just one?" she asked."Fifteen cents," answered the vendor."Then I`ll take the other one," said Mrs. Goldberg. Read more