Swedish Jokes Category

A swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The norwegian suggested that the swede let the air out of the tires. The swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top." Read more

There was a fire in the royal library in Sweden, and the king was utterly depressed because both books were burned and he`d only gotten around to painting in one of them. Read more

"This letter is too heavy," the post-clerk stated, "You will have to put on an additional stamp." The swede looked wonderingly at him, "Will it be lighter then?" he asked. Read more

The little swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer. The teacher answered, "Oh, that`s because the heat makes everything expand." Read more

Two norwegians were telling swedish jokes. "Do you know how to save a swede from drowning?" the one said. "No," his friend said after a little while. The first norwegian grinned, "Oh, That`s good." Read more

A swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the first time. As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted by a warning message which said that there was a car driving the wrong way on the highway. "ONE?" the swede yells out, "there are several hundred of them out there!" Read more

In a swedish army camouflage book: "When the soldier is moving through woodland, he`s supposed to break off branches and put them on his helmet. When he is moving through cornfields, he`s to break off some cornstalks and put them on his helmet. When the soldier is moving through a cabbage field he`s supposed to take off his helmet for the best camouflage." Read more

There were these two swedish twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it. Read more

Two Swedes were in Norway on a visit and they were wondering about all the beautiful buildings. One of the Swedes went over to a Norwegian and asked how they managed to build such beautiful buildings. The Norwegian brought the Swede to a wall and laid his hand on it. Then he asked the Swede to hit it. First the Swede didn`t want to, but then finally he hit as hard as he was able to. The Norwegian quickly pulled his hand out of the way and the Swede got all his knuckles smashed. The Norwegian said, "It`s a question of intelligence." The Swede went back to his buddy who wondered if he`d gotten his question answered. - "Yes," the he answered and put his hand on his forehead, "Hit my hand!".. Read more

A swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that goes down the center of the road. The first day he managed to paint 2 kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The next day he only painted 200 meters, but his boss thought that he`d probably started off too hard on the first day. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. The boss called him into the office and demanded an explanation. "Well, you see it`s getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the swede explained. Read more