Teachers Jokes Category

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." Read more

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?" Read more

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!" Read more

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:
"First Question: Which tire was flat?" Read more

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said, what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
Read more

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put allthe men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!" Read more

A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them; "The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."
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A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. "What`s the problem Carol? I hope it`s not homework again.
"Well, uh, yes, it is, replied Carol "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.
"Carol, you`re right, that wasn`t a very bright thing to do, said the teacher, "but his once I`ll let your just unfold the paper and hand it in.
"Oh, but that won`t work, said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked
Read more

Seven-year-old John had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phone his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," said the mother. "I had John here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved." Read more